Written by Patrick McNamara

You and I are going to talk about the good shows this weekend and we’re both going to have a really great time as we do so. I guarantee it. Or my name ain’t Whoa My Blobness.

So sit back, relax, and embrace the chill. Because everything’s coming up roses and the goodness starts right……..NOW.

Thursday - July 17th, 2014 A.D.

We’re not just about the up-and-coming alts here at Whoa My Blobness. If you’re good, you’re good. Whether you have been around a day or played music in at least three different decades, it doesn’t matter. You’re good just the same. Guess which category Oneida falls under (please pay no attention to that 6 year old band profile, please)? Yes, sir. This artful band has been droning on and on for so long. Oneida used to be good. Then they became good. And now they’re good. Go see them at Glasslands tonight. And show your support for our veterans.

Bouncy garage punks Adult Dude play Cake Shop tonight. Hey! I wrote about them once! If only there was a way of directing you to those words of kindness. But this is the internet. At this point, that content could be virtually anywhere. Oh well.

Ex Hex play this hot new club called the Museum of Modern Art. This is Mary Timony’s band. Her bands before Ex Hex were Helium and Wild Flag. She was probably in bands before those bands too. Because nobody hits it with their cherry band. But let’s not get into it. Ex Hex describes themselves as “what your older brother’s friends listened to.” But I would like to issue a strong challenge and counter that description with a description of my own. “Ex Hex are a good band.” Boom. And that’s why every night I lay my little head to sleep on a mattress of $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Queen play Madison Square Garden tonight. Obviously, Freddie Mercury was unavailable. Do you want to know who is taking his place? Adam Lambert. Do you know who he is? If you do, cool. Also, can you tell me what time is Survivor Season 27 is on? I figured you would know.

We miss you, Freddie.

Other notable shows = Vensaire at Radio Bushwick for 1.21 Gigawatts Fest (more later k thx bye) + Mobb Deep at Queensbridge Park (free) + Flume at Terminal 5 + Jon Hopkins and JDH & Dave P at (le) poisson rouge

SEE ALL OF OUR THURSDAY PICKS

Friday - July 18th, 2014 A.D.

Somos play Saint Vitus tonight. I’ve said it before. I’ll say it again. Their debut album “Temple of Plenty” on Tiny Engines is my favorite record of 2014. It’s perfect. Forever and Ever. Amen. Go ahead and listen to it right now. Then go see them play it. You can count on me.

And I shit you not, Gates released an EP called “You Are All You Have Left To Fear” that was in the running for my favorite record of 2013. It too is perfect. This isn’t faux digital hyperbole I’m slinging here. This is music. This is serious. Gates ALSO play tonight (with Vasudeva, a band that also = good). But they’re at The Studio at Webster Hall. And that’s a long way from Greenpoint. I tell you what, brother. Somos vs. Gates is a choice no man should ever have to make.

If free is more your thing, Ceremony + Iron Lung + Nothing play Brooklyn Night Bazaar tonight. And this beautiful noise is certainly worth paying for. You won’t. But you could. Will you remember that? Shhh. Say no more. That’s a deal.

Finally. 1.21 Gigawatts Festival continues tonight at Radio Bushwick. Frankie Cosmos + Infinity Shred + Chumped + Field Mouse + Dead Stars + lots more good bands are playing. Man. This could be the greatest Friday night for show choices OF ALL TIME.

Other notable shows tonight = Hector’s Pets and Organs at Union Pool + Gogol Bordello and Man Man at The Space at Westbury + Calvin Love and Las Rosas at South Street Seaport (free) + Psychic Twin at Shea Stadium + OOIOO at Rough Trade + Bill Nye (hell yes he’s the Science Guy) at Irving Plaza + DJ Small Black at Glasslands + DJ Bass Drum of Death at Union Pool

SEE ALL OF OUR FRIDAY PICKS

Saturday - July 19th, 2014 A.D.

Beverly play Death by Audio. Oh My Rockness calls it, “distorted pop goodness that swirls towards a breezy kind of musical transcendence.” And that is the very first time I have been quoted back to me before. But see this band. Seriously. They’re really great. The recommendations are real. The rest is bullshit.

Deltron 3030 (Del the Funky Homosapien + Dan the Automator + Kid Koala - all their real given birth names) pump out a free show with the smooth flow in Prospect Park for Celebrate Brooklyn! As mentioned previously on this dynamic web blob feature, I live pretty close to this venue. So if you want to hang out after let me know. I’ll keep the couch warm just in case.

I’ve always kinda considered Kind of Like Spitting (pay no attention to that 8 year old band profile, please) to be one of the original indie alts. ‘90s. Portland. Basement shows. Songs that actually sounded like songs. You must remember or have read about those long ago days. Now the band is back and play Suburbia tonight. There may be some aging alts there. But really, this one should prove to be fun for alts of all ages.

Obits play Union Pool for "Summer Thunder." This one is in the day. It's free. They slay. God said it. I believe it. That settles it.

Other notable shows = Drowners at The Surf Lodge (free - but it’s in Montauk - they can probably afford it there) + Bill Nye (hell yes he’s the Science Guy Part Deux) at Irving Plaza + The Clientele at Baby’s All Right + Ted Leo and The Menzingers and Bouncing Souls at the Stone Pony + Ava Luna at Rough Trade + 1.21 Gigawatts Fest continues at Radio Bushwick + Vulture Shit at Cake Shop

SEE ALL OF OUR SATURDAY PICKS

Sunday - July 20th, 2014 A.D.

I’ve sprinkled mentions of Bill Nye the Science Guy subtly throughout this whole dynamic web feature this week. Did you miss the references? That’s OK. I was always more of Mr. Wizard man, myself. However, tonight at Irving Plaza is your last chance to see Nye say something scientific that will most likely blow the jasmine of your mind.

Mara Wilson and friends do something funny at Union Hall tonight. You know who she is, right? Hang on. Let me see if I can grab a video. OK. Found it. Stream now.

Finally. Brooklyn good time shredders Team Spirit play a “Secret Location” for the final day of the 1.21 Gigawatts Fest. And if they don’t announce it soon, this “Secret Location” show will be so intimate it will feel like nobody’s there.

SEE ALL OF OUR SUNDAY PICKS

Thanks a lot for reading, guys. I hope you had the good time I promised. Because I sure did. You’re all I got, man. And that is plenty enough.