Written by Patrick McNamara

Welcome to The Best Shows This Week!

Before you read and stream like the champion you already are, I want to mention that there are totally 100% no rules here. Except for these 3.

Rule #1 - this dynamic original digital feature is for alts by alts

Rule #2 - everyone is an alt

Rule #3 - imagine. love. one world. hope

I will now do my best to talk to you about the best emerging buzzy up-and-coming alts to the best of my blob abilities.

Pray for Whoa My Blobness.

Thursday - August 7th, 2014 A.D.

Are you ready to talk free? Let’s talk free. Future Islands play a free show at House of Vans tonight. Buuuuuuut……. the RSVP list is closed. Stay positive out there. Stay positive. If you can’t get into the show, just watch this clip over and over from the comforts of your home. Someone teach me these dance moves immediately. My whole repertoire currently consists of moves I learned watching this.

Atlanta sludge sluts Whores play Saint Vitus tonight. This loud ass beautiful BRUTAL noise will bury your FACE in a blitz of shreddy vengeful FURY. So bring your the MOMS. Bring your KIDS. Because this one spells F-U-N for the whole F-A-M-I-L-Y.

Super smooth easy breezy jingle jangle band Free Time play Baby’s All Right tonight. They’re led by Aussie turned New Yorker Dion Nania. Jonah Maurer is also in this band. He’s in some other band called Real Estate. I’m not familiar. Anyway. Free Time are good, dudes. Go if you like “what, me worry?” pop.

England’s psych-y “almost maybe” rock stars Temples + pure pop celestial angels Here We Go Magic + “local psych-y not quite yet but who knows maybe someday” rock stars Spires play a free show at Pier 84 in Hudson River Park. That’s pretty much my favorite pier. Although 57 is pretty good too. And 8 has its charms. Temples was cited by Noel Gallagher as being the best new band in Britain. If you’ll remember from last week, I also mentioned Noel said the same thing about Jagwar Ma (minus the Britain part - they’re from Australia). That guy sure is generous with the praise. Every new band should send him their song links STAT.

Other notable shows = Dead Stars at Mercury Lounge + Osekre & The Lucky Bastards at Joe’s Pub + Old 97s at Brooklyn Bowl (again) + Mykki Blanco at East River Amphitheater (free) + Modest Mouse at Starland Ballroom but I already straight told you that

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Friday - August 8th, 2014 A.D.

It’s the annual Full Moon party at Governors Island’s tonight. Did you know this was an annual thing? Well, you do now. The electric-y dance-y lineup includes Delorean + The Knocks + JDH & Dave P + lots more. And this is an impossible coincidence! Tonight (if the scientists are to be believed) there is supposed to be a full moon! But who knows what to believe anymore. Science just slings liberal propaganda.

(please note: I went the extra mile and just checked some highly credible sources - and this spammy site says the actual full moon is two days from now on August 10th - you see? - LIBERAL PROPAGANDA)

Really solid up-and-coming alt punker rocker one at Death by Audio tonight led by Amanda X (This Band B Good) and Two Inch Astronaut (This Band B Good 2: The Legend of Curly’s Gold). You’re going to like the way this one sounds. I guarantee* it.

(*guarantee not a guarantee - you might not like up-and-coming alt punker rocker music - in which case I say good day to you, sir - i don’t hang with MONSTERS.)

Professional party music maker Pictureplane used to play out seemingly every night. But he’s been quiet lately. I was getting worried. Was everything ok in post-physical land? But I can breathe a little easier now knowing he’s playing Palisades tonight with Octa Octa, Future Punx and Germans (cruel tho). Whew. (some spell it “phew” but I don’t swing that way.)

Other notable shows = Brian Degraw (of Gang Gang Dance) + pals at Baby’s All Right + Temples and Spires at Asbury Lanes + The Rosebuds at Rough Trade + My Left Tit at Radio Bushwick because My Left Tit!

SEE ALL OF OUR FRIDAY PICKS

Saturday - August 9th, 2014 A.D.

One of the shows I have been looking forward to the most is finally here (well, technically not as I’m writing these very words... but there’s really no need to show you how the sausage is made around here). St. Vincent plays Prospect Park for Celebrate Brooklyn! It’s free. St. Vincent rules. And I would gladly pay to see this. I’m not going to. But I would, man. I so would. Can I get a digital witness on that, my 13 regular reading Rockness peeps?

Har Mar Superstar plays a free daytime show at Union Pool for its “Summer Thunder” series. Here’s one of my favorite Har Mar songs. It’s called “Lady, You Shot Me!” And did you know those were Sam Cooke’s final words? I didn’t even have to consult with Wikipedia for this one. I just knew! That motel owner may have taken his life, but Sam Cooke is still the best. Forever and Ever. Amen.

The Mad Decent Block Party happens in Coney Island today with Chance the Rapper + Big Gigantic + Diplo + Flosstradamus + many more decent fellows. I’ll meet you at the top of The Wonder Wheel. I know it claims never to have had an accident in over 100 years but I don’t care. Those sliding cars still be scary tho.

You may also dance your ass off at Output tonight with Detroit Swindle + Shit Robot + FIXED. However, sitting might prove to be a problem come tomorrow. It ain’t easy to do that without an ass. Oh wells. We’ll let tomorrow worry about itself.

Other notable shows = The Rock *A* Teens (with Will Sheff) at Glasslands + Infinity Shred at Webster “Marlin Room” Hall + Roseanne Cash at Damrosch Bandshell (free) + The Austerity Program at Shea Stadium + Dinowalrus at The Studio at Webster Hall + Cassie Ramone at Mercury Lounge + Modest Mouse at Forest Hills Stadium but we’ve been over this quite enough around here

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Sunday - August 10th, 2014 A.D.

Bauuer + Boys Noize + Spank Rock + DJ LE1F + more fine folks play a dance party at Governors Island. Do you say “at” if it’s an island or “on.” Party ON Governors Island? Tough call, right? I have a similar question with parks. St. Vincent is playing AT Prospect Park or St. Vincent is playing IN Prospect Park. I’m just not sure. Tricky times, man. Tricky tricky tricky times.

Here's an oldie. But a goodie.

You may also listen to the lovely haunting sublime instrumental sounds of Heathered Pearls (aka Czestochowa, Poland’s own Jakub Alexander) at Trans-Pecos. This music makes me feel like I’m in a warm dream. And unlike most of my dreams, I’m not late for my final exam and I remembered to wear pants.

Or, if you’d rather feel like you’re in a dystopian nightmare, consider going to see brutal LA thunder doom band Prurient at Home Sweet Home (ahhhhhh). At least at this one you can always walk out if you can’t handle it. That’s a lot easier than willing closed eyelids to open. I know. I’ve done both.

Other notable shows = Allen Toussaint at Joe’s Pub + Tiny Ruins at Baby’s All Right + The Rock *A* Teens at (le) poisson rouge (this, again, is with Will Sheff but AGAIN I straight already did told you tho)

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Thanks a lot for reading again this week. All 13 of you are THE BEST. Wait. I forgot a rule!

Rule #1 - this dynamic original digital feature is for alts by alts

Rule #2 - everyone is an alt

Rule #3 - imagine. love. one world. hope.

Rule #4 - I heart you. Forever and Ever. Amen.