Written by Patrick McNamara

The Best Shows This Week is a great time to spend a few minutes reflecting on all the special, special shows you have yet to see. A chance to remember how it felt when that band you currently don’t know exists played that one song you’ve never heard and how that magical un-experience sent you from a dark club straight towards illuminated transcendence.

Don’t let what hasn’t happened fade from your memory of what was! Embrace the unlived! Seize the not yet! Live today by recalling tomorrow! The future is now. Wait. The calibration of my watch (it’s also water resistant, no big deal) was slightly off. The future is......wait for it.....wait for it............NOW.

Thursday - August 15th, 2013 A.D.

The 2nd to last of those free House of Vans shows is tonight w/ Kid Dynamite + Joyce Manor + Red Hare + Swearin’. All good free things must come to an almost end. But at least whenever I look at my feet I will always think of the good memories we shared together - my orange Crocs and me (i don’t wear Vans because i don’t know how to do the skate boarding). So anyway, let’s listen to some Swearin’ songs, shall we? Because Swearin’ is a good goddamn band. (did I ever mention that I really like guitars like this - i always want them around - always - i’ll even sometimes play tennis with a guitar like this instead of a racket - you should see my second serve)



Tell me, Doctor.* Where are we going this time? Is this the ‘50s or 1999? (please note: this song is so old that both the ‘50s and 1999 are now in the past - once again, for more information about the future please see the dynamically fluid intro to this dynamically strategically optimized blob feature).

Huey Lewis and The News play a FREE show in Coney Island tonight. I’d go. But I’m afraid they’re just too darn loud. Too bad. All he wanted to do was play his guitar and sing.

(*so in Back to the Future, Marty’s BEST FRIEND gets shot and killed by Libyan terrorists - but not to worry, he has a time machine! he can go back before the murder and prevent it! and how much time does he allow himself to save his BEST FRIEND from getting MURDERED? in his own words, “10 minutes ought to do it.”)



There are some other good shows tonight but PAGE LOAD TIME AND NONE OF THEM RELATE TO THE FUTURE. Please click that “See all our Thursday show picks” link below. It’s a link that, when you click it, takes you to page separate from this one where you can “see all our Thursday show picks.” On that same page, we’ll also have a dynamic web content BONUS feature where we discuss, “Bubble Jet printers: Worth the Hype?”

SEE ALL OF OUR THURSDAY SHOW PICKS.

Friday - August 16th, 2013 A.D.

Anamanaguchi (there’s an outdated band profile for your antiquated enjoyment) play Webster Hall tonight. They are one of the most creative bands out there. It’s almost as if they think music should be.....fun. Well I just don’t know about THAT. To me, live rock ‘n roll musical show concerts are deadly serious business. But hey, different strokes different folks to each his own tomato tomahto mi casa su casa nothing matters everything does the paths of glory lead but to the grave. Anywho, GOOD JAM ALERT, GUYS.



LA’s Medicine (and Weekend) play MHOW tonight. You may know Medicine from the soundtrack to The Crow - everybody’s favorite completely average movie from the early ‘90s. Or, you may just know them because you’ve made it your business to know solid shoegaze when you hear it (please note as per our earlier discussion: shoegaze is not metal - or is it???). This one’s dedicated to My Bloody Valentine and Brandon Lee.



(UPDATE: THIS SHOW HAS BEEN POSTPONED WITH A DATE TBA BUT YOU CAN STILL READ ABOUT IT WHY THE HECK NOT?) Speaking of old ass bands (yoinks!), Memphis’ Oblivians play The Bell House. They’ve been rocking the garage-blues-punk since 19-Naughty-to-the-Trey, yo. Before The White Stripes did anything, Oblivians did everything (except make music accessible enough for radio and world domination - oops).



Macklemore & Ryan Lewis play Good Morning America at 7am this morning and not only did we list it, we made a homemade SIGN for this show, man. I LOVE YOUUUU MATT LAURERERERE (he’s the one who’s daughter is on Girls right? oh wait, maybe I’m thinking of David Mamet. who i always get confused with Steve Albini.) I’m not going to link to this show though. That would be a joke crossing the line from which there is no return.

SEE ALL OF OUR FRIDAY SHOW PICKS.

Saturday - August 17th, 2013 A.D.

There’s a good two-day Out In The Streets semi-festival situation happening today and tomorrow at Onderdonk* House - the oldest Dutch colonial house in all of NYC (much less Ridgewood, Queens). It was built in 1709. NO BIG DEAL. (“uhhhh actually, that isn’t that big of deal” - people of Italy, Greece, Japan, England, etc. etc. etc.) Anyway you didn’t come here for a history lesson; now who wants to rock out, let me hear you New York Citaayyyyyyy! Pictureplane (him again?) + Rush Midnight + Heavenly Beat lead a good line-up at that house today. Tomorrow, some other dudes play. A two-day pass is $20 for you. And free for the ghosts that surely haunt these walls.

(*Onderdonk sounds like a dance craze about to sweep the nation - lemme see you Onderdonk-a-donk it, lemme see you Onderdonk-a-donk-oh nevermind )



Drowners play Mercury Lounge tonight (with Bad Girlfriend). If I were a betting man, I’d say these lads were going to be pretty popular one day. They just have that sound that Marvin Berry’s cousin (you know, the one with the bandaged hand) has been looking for. But I don’t bet. Because I don’t like giving my money to other people for no real reason. (also, let Pete Rose in the goddamn Hall of Fame already)



Twin Shadow + Autre Ne Veut + Elliphant (sic - i.e. it wasn’t me! i’m super smart i goddamn swear!) play a FREE show at Central Park Summerstage tonight. Should be sexy times. Perhaps a little TOO sexy, sexy times. Remember Bloomberg’s new law, guys: no making out in the park to sexy beats unless accompanied by an extra large sugary soda.



Other good shows tonight include Daughn “I used to be a truck driver” Gibson at Glasslands + Ceremony at 285 Kent + The Soupcans at Union Pool (day) and Death by Audio (night) + Escort/Midnight Magic at Bowery Ballroom + oOoOO at (le) poisson rouge + i don’t know guys, this is what that “See all of our Saturday shows” link down there is for.

SEE ALL OF OUR SATURDAY SHOW PICKS.

Sunday - August 18th, 2013 A.D.

We’ve talked enough about the future. So how about we all now live in the past! Because Alice in Chains and Jane’s Addiction headline a show at Jones Beach and that’s not even the real Alice in Chains or Jane’s Addiction! Yea! By the way, Coheed and Cambria also play this show. I remember when their song below used to be my main jam (you should have seen how i crushed these riffs on my tennis racket). Please tell me not my faults, for I already know them. I just hadn’t found my way yet, friend. I just hadn’t found my way...and, no wait, screw that because this song IS a jam and I still sometimes sing it in the shower while killing time and that I DON’T BACK DOWN FROM.



BYE BYE BEAUTIFULLLLLLLL! Classic.

Other shows tonight include a free Radical Dads at Fulton Stall Market + Doldrums and Wild Yaks and more at the 2nd day of Onderdonk (i said lemme see you Onderdonk-a-donk it) + The Sword at MHOW + THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE LINK BELOW IS FOR. Sorry for yelling. I apologize. I’m just hungry. And jet lagged. From all that time travel.

SEE ALL OF OUR SUNDAY SHOW PICKS.

Yep. Those were The Best Shows This Week that haven’t happened yet. Remember them so when you go and actually experience them you’ll be like, “been there! done that!” and then using that expression it will give away your true identity to the rest of the crowd...that you’re actually a time traveler from the year 1993...and everyone would then want to know why the hell you chose a year like 2013 to travel forward in time to...and you’ll be all like, “talk to the hand” and slowly back towards the exit while your other hand secretly clutches the coveted Buzz Band Almanac from 1993 - 2013 that one day will make you a very rich tastemaker, indeed.