Let’s chit-chat about some upcoming concert goodness.
And let’s stay focused for once this week.
So much time. So little to do.
Wait a minute. Strike that. Reverse it. Thank you.
Come procrastinate with me!
Thursday - March 6th, 2014 A.D.
Chicago’s The Orwells (Elmhurst, what!) play Bowery Ballroom tonight. Their good grimey garage pop sure impressed David “Cabin Boy” Letterman and Paul “It’s Raining Men” Shaeffer when they were on that late night variety programme (dudes, David fucking Letterman is begging you for an encore! don’t just stand there!). I’m prone to like these The Orwells. Because anyone who wears a Derrick Rose jersey for their national television debut is a-ok in my book. And my book is THE LAW, YOU HEAR ME!!! (jk bb boo boo i luv u.)
Speaking of nothing, Cults play a free show at Music Hall of Williamsburg tonight. You had to RSVP though. And the list is already closed. So if you’re just learning about this now, my thoughts are with you and your family during this difficult time. Maybe you should sign up for a free “My Rockness” account so you never have to feel this feeling ever again. Because even never is a bit too soon to go through this pain again.
(But on the brightside - at least you won’t have to drink the kool-aid that Cults is gonna pass out at the end!) Swearin’ + Cassie Ramone + Arm Candy (I don’t know who arm candy is - I guess I could look it up - but nah) play Cake Shop tonight. And when Swearin’ takes the stage you know you’re gonna get a goddamn horseshit pile of bloody fucking guitar goodness. Oh wait. Bloody isn’t a swear word here.
(You know in the Holland Tunnel there’s that clear line that marks New York from New Jersey? The middle of the Atlantic Ocean has a similar line marking where the word “bloody” turns bad. It’s roughly 300 nautical miles off the coast of Nova Scotia, I believe.)
(Swearin’ also play Music Hall of Williamsburg on Friday with this good band Even Hand but I’m not even going to fucking mention it, man.)
Other notable shows tonight = Pete Bauer (from The Walkmen) at Baby’s All Right + Deer Tick at Lincoln Center (let’s get lyme disease, y’all) + Paul Simon and Sting doing their _________ thing + Richard Buckner at Union Hall.
Friday - March 7th, 2014 A.D.
Broken Bells (James Mercer from The Shins + Brian Burton from Danger Mouse) and Au Revoir Simone (Erika + Annie + Heather from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure) play Emmanuel Lewis Hall tonight. Go to this show or don’t go to this show. Feel nothing. Caring is creeping. I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet. I think I’LL go HOME and MULL THIS over. Before I CRAM it DOWN my throat. At LONG last it’s CRASHED it’s COLOSSAL mass. Has broken up into bits in my throat.
Heavenly Beat play Glasslands tonight. Heavenly Beat keep getting better. And Brooklyn bands who actually improve over time are a very strange circumstance. Very strange, indeed. Go let these pop dudes perform their celestial thumpings for you. It’ll be a blissful punch to the soul.
Those New Jersey punker rockers, Screaming Females, play Silent Barn tonight with a supporting act called... hang on, let me get my glasses here…. Tuff Tits. Yes. That’s right. Tuff Tits will also be playing this show, ladies and gentleman. So please give Tuff Tits are warm welcome, will ya?
Anyway, here's some shredding.
Bob Mould plays City Winery tonight. But the reason I really bring it up is because I wanted to ask you if this song below is one of the greatest pop songs of the last 20 years? Hint: the correct answer is “...MORE LIKE ONE OF THE GREATEST POP SONGS OF ALL TIME!!!!!!”
Other notable show tonight = Guardian Alien at Trans-Pecos + Flagland at Cameo Gallery + Vensaire (guy from Widowspeak) at Where The Sidewalk Ends (place from Shel Silverstein).
Saturday - March 8th, 2014 A.D.
I’ve been massively obsessed with Hop Along lately. Sure. I’m late to the game on them. And I don’t care. Should I not embrace goodness just because others before me already have? Ridiculous logic, dear Rockness reader. If you know Hop Along - you know what I’m talking about when I talk about going to see them for FREE tonight at Brooklyn Night Bazaar. If you don’t know Hop Along - man, you’re stupid! I’ve known about them since at least late February! Just kidding. About you being stupid. You’re awesome. Don’t ever change. But consider getting into Hop Along. Remember. It’s never, ever, ever too late. Until it’s too late. Forever and Ever. Amen.
(i'm not going to just post one song off Hop Along's excellent album - i'm doing the whole thing - because i have #punk #rock #ETHOS)
We were promised jetpacks a long time ago. Like, at least by the year 2000. Instead we still have razor scooters and rollerblades. Regardless, this band is the loudest thing to come out of Scotland since Magnus Buchan. And like that guy, We Were Promised Jetpacks pretend they are all hard and stuff. But deep down they’re tenderhearted and just want to feel included. They play Emmanuel Lewis Hall tonight.
Boston’s Throwing Muses are true original alts, all right (see also: alright). They play Bowery tonight and the first time in New York in I don’t know how long (tomorrow night you can say Throwing Muses haven’t played New York since yesterday). If you don’t know, Tanya Donnelly (also of The Breeders + Belly) and her step sister Kristen Hersh (also of Kristen Hersh) formed the band in 1983 when they were in high school. I imagine every high school in 1983 was exactly like “Fast Times at Ridgemont High.” And every dad was just like Mr. Mom. Donnelly does double duty and opens this show too, boo.
Nicholas Nicholas play Glasslands tonight. You haven’t heard of this band. But you will. Right now. And you’ll come back for more of this haunted pop again and again and again. I believe this to be true. Because I believe in you.
Sunday - March 9th, 2014 A.D.
If you have a kid - or you can borrow one - or rent one - Drowners play a Kidrockers show at Brooklyn Bowl today. Yes. You need to go with a kid. But if you REALLY want to go to this and have no way of getting a child to go with you, try having a baby faced friend approach the venue while walking on his or her knees - they’ve really gotta own it though - light up sneakers on the knees, a shirt with trains on it, short pants with unicorns - the whole deal - do it right and it might work - yes, it just might work.
Speaking of kids, go see Radical Dads at Glasslands tonight! Such exciting segues this week, dear Rockness reader! Such dynamic transitions! (please note: you don’t need to have a kid with you to see Radical Dads - but I recommend you still try and get someone to go with you dressed as one).
If having a friend pretend to be a kid doesn’t sound like a good time to you it’s like oooookkayyyy weirdo. Maybe you’ll feel more comfortable getting your ears blasted by Japanther at Saint Vitus. That’s cool too. Whatever. We’re all adults here.
That was The Best Shows This Week!
Thanks a lot! You guys have been great! Louis C.K. is coming up soon!
But first, please welcome the hilarious comedy dancing of 2011 Britain's Got Talent finalist and second/third most famous Kendal, England resident, Steven Hall!