Written by Patrick McNamara

Congratulations to _____________ for winning the Super Bowl!

Isn’t it ___________ that the groundhog __________ his shadow?!

(Listen, baby. I write these things in advance. These words aren’t made up in real time.

They do often come straight from my ________ though.)

Now that’s what I call dynamic content!

These are The Best Shows This Weekend.

Come read and stream with me!

Thursday - February 6th, 2014 A.D.

The Hold Steady play “MHOW” (for translation - see yesterday) tonight. Those guys haven’t played here in awhile. Which is strange. Because this is where they live. Too many conflicting killer parties, I guess. But they’re back. Even though they never really left. I mean, maybe they went on vacation or took a long weekend or whatever. The Catskills and what not. Anyway. Good talk, guys. Good talk.

OK. Who let all the good punks play Silent Barn tonight? Really solid lineup there. Big Ups (did i ever mention our CMJ 2013 show on this thing?) + Ovlov (did i ever mention our CMJ 2013 show on this thing?) + Frankie Cosmos + LVL UP. I’m getting excited for this one just typing it. Granted, I’m also on my third cup of cheap coffee (the kind that comes as a brick) so you know that could be a factor too but these bands are all so sick!!!!!!!!!!!

(note to self: retire the CMJ 2013 bit - immediately.)

Future Islands play Bowery Ballroom tonight. I won’t make the mistake of describing this band as playing super catchy “electronic pop” instead of super catchy “electro” because I don’t want Google Docs to correct me again. I get so intimidated whenever GD is around. I end up making genre and grammatical mistakes. Because I’m nervous.

CHEAT SHEET: oh, how I’ve missed you. Other notable shows tonight = Phosphorescent (solo) at Cannon’s Blackthorn (?) + Sharon Jones & The Dap Kings at Beacon Theater + Tenement at Death by Audio + Blood Orange at Webster Hall.

SEE ALL OF OUR THURSDAY SHOW PICKS.

Friday - February 7th, 2014 A.D.

We started this week with free. Let’s start the weekend with free too. For symmetry. Speedy Ortiz + Krill + Odonis Odonis + Heeney “lead a good lineup” (another regularly used alliteration trick) at Brooklyn Night Bazaar tonight. It’s free. And oftentimes free means you don’t have to pay any mo----oh, nevermind. Most importantly, I like all those bands. Their names are linked to a page with more thoughts on my fond feelings for them and their cool alternative punk sounds. Please click over and read. Don’t worry. A new window will open. No one is going anywhere. I’m here. I’ll never abandon you.

Boston’s Mission of Burma are still doing it after all these years. Go to their show at The Bell House tonight. And afterwards, ask them what Paul Revere was really like. I heard there’s a bunch of misconceptions and false information about his famous ride. It’ll be nice to finally have it all cleared up by some dudes who were there.

If late night dancing is your thing - stop rubbing it in on your various media platforms - you’ve got good moves - and an active social life in which you can showcase them - every night is awesome when you decide to get involved - we get it. Also, you should go to SRB Brooklyn tonight for FIXED with John Talabot + Shit Robot + JDH & Dave P!

The strikingly pastoral and pleasant “new folk” (i don’t know) collective Mutual Benefit play Mercury Lounge tonight (and Knitting Factory tomorrow night - but again, this is neither the time nor the place). Think of the feeling you get sitting by a warm wood fire in wool socks - perhaps sipping a warm and calming beverage (except you’ll be standing in a dark and crowded room slurping a metallic cold one).

(note to self: retire CHEAT SHEET bit - starting next week.

CHEAT SHEET DOUBLE DOUBLE MEAT MEAT. Other notable shows tonight = +/- at Mercury Lounge (late) + Ben Browning (of Cut Copy) at Cameo Gallery + The Marked Men at Saint Vitus + Lord Huron and Night Moves at Terminal 5 + San Fermin at Bowery Ballroom.

SEE ALL OF OUR FRIDAY SHOW PICKS.

Saturday - February 8th, 2014 A.D.

The Most Popular upcoming show on the site (i didn’t decide it - you “My Rockness” users did) is Arctic Monkeys and Deerhunter at this place called Madison Square Garden tonight. Did you know a professional basketball team used to play there?

Ask me about the #EMO #REVIVAL. Orlando’s You Blew It! sing and play Shea Stadium tonight and they’re going to mean it and give it everything they’ve got out there. There are no half measures during the #EMO #REVIVAL. (Also playing: New Jersey’s Prawn + Purchase’s Crying + NYC’s Living Room. Feel free to get into those bands too.)

Veteran on again off again on again Seattle punks Murder City Devils play Webster Hall tonight with Tweens. I welcome this band back with open arms. And by the related band way, there’s plenty of room in these arms for a Pretty Girls Make Graves reunion too. My wingspan is pretty impressive. So... just throwing that out there.

Planting the seed.

Lighting the embers.

Readying myself for hug rejection.

Collapsing.

Weeping.

Picking myself up.

And somehow carrying on.

Another good free show at Brooklyn Night Bazaar tonight (maybe that venue should just write this article - how about that?) with Crystal Stilts + Weekend + Yvette + Elsa. Gonna be loud and noisy. And that’s using two descriptive words that mean the same thing. Now that’s what I call dynamic content Volume 2!

I’m delighted to also announce that Caveman and The Pizza Underground are playing a Kidrockers show at NYU today. Because that means I can post this clip again. Work hard, kids. The good opportunities will come.

CHEAT SHEET. CHEATERS NEVER WIN (i’m looking at you, event listing site scrapers). Other notable shows = Screaming Females at “MHOW” + The Stepkids at Brooklyn Bowl + Marissa Nadler at Glasslands + The Marked Men at Saint Vitus (again x 2).

SEE ALL OF OUR SATURDAY SHOW PICKS.

Sunday - February 9th, 2014 A.D.

Pissed Jeans + Purling Hiss + Pampers (perhaps alliteration’s finest moment in this fun freewheeling article) play Knitting Factory tonight. It certainly was smart of Pissed Jeans to bring along Pampers. And if their name was Purling Piss I could work them into the joke, too. But they’re not. Oh well. No free press for them.

Teengirl Fantasy play Cameo Gallery tonight. And I want you to know what terrible internet smut I had to wade through in order to successfully source this Teengirl Fantasy video. The things I do for you, Rockness reader. The things I do for you.

Other notable shows tonight = Girls on HBO + Downton Abbey on PBS + The Good Wife on CBS + True Detective (also) on HBO.

SEE ALL OF OUR SUNDAY SHOW PICKS.

That was The Best Shows This Week.

I know you have a choice when you procrastinate. And I thank you for procrastinating with me.

It was certainly nice spending time with you.

Of all the Rockness readers, you’re my very favorite, ______________.