Written by Patrick McNamara

Let’s talk about some good shows this week. Remind us to mention the really good one that we’re presenting too, would ya? Because if we forget - you won’t come - and if you don’t come - we’ll never meet - and if we never meet - we can’t go to the dance - and if we can’t go to the dance - we won’t kiss - and if we don’t kiss - rock ‘n roll will never be born - thus rendering time travel impossible.

So yeah. Definitely remind us.

Thursday - January 23rd, 2014 A.D.

SO ABOUT THAT OH MY ROCKNESS SHOW TONIGHT. OK. We’ll chill out now. We get it. We get this gag flew out the back seat window many miles ago. But one final mention. For reals now. We’re presenting the Waxahatchee + All Dogs + Cayetana show at Glasslands tonight. That’s all. That’s it. I’m done.

THIS WILL BE THE BEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF SHOWS AND ITS SO GOOD IT HASN’T EVEN HAPPENED YET.

Veteran melodic troubadours The Rural Albert Advantage play two shows at Mercury Lounge tonight - one early for the kids - one late for the wolves. This band makes well-crafted Americana pop - even though they’re from Canada. So let’s say the create Canacana then. This video below takes forever to get going - and does that thing where the music fades out to give the story center stage - only for the music to come back in again. It’s like, make up your mind. Are you a music video or are you a movie? NO NO DON’T SAY BOTH! BOTH WILL NOT SET YOU FREE IN THIS CASE! JUST MAKE A CHOICE!

(somehow, I blame Diddy for all this. I don’t know why. I just do.)

The Crystal Ark play Baby’s All Right tonight - that’s one of the preferred moniker’s of Gavin Russom - who you might know has put out (oh, wait, sorry, has “dropped”) a lot of songs (oh, wait, sorry, a lot of “cuts”) for DFA Records. Prepare for fresh beats. However you prepare for such a thing. I guess stock up on water and double A batteries or something.

SEE ALL OF OUR THURSDAY SHOW PICKS.

Friday - January 24th, 2014 A.D.

Have you seen Macauley Culkin’s damn pizza Velvet Underground thing yet? Well, if you’re going to see Macaulay Culkin’s damn pizza Velvet Underground thing - tonight at Brooklyn Night Bazaar would probably be your best night to do it. Because it’s free. And other bands are playing. Who are actually good.

Hey, now. That was a little harsh. Listen, I’ve got nothing against Macaulay Culkin. I thought he was adorable in “Home Alone” and quite good in “Richie Rich.” And when his mom dropped him off that cliff and killed him in order to save her other good son in the cleverly titled “The Good Son” I was stunned (whoa! your own moms dropped you, bad son!).

And, of course, I like the Velvet Underground too.

It’s pizza I can’t stand!

(my passion is posting videos literally nobody will watch.)

Toronto’s TRUST are back in town. Main dude Robert Alfons and whoever he’s recruited to play with him these days are at Glasslands tonight. If you like sexy gothic synthpop like I think you do (i give you 13 regular Rockness readers the benefit of the doubt that you’re not monsters) you’ll want to be at this one. Posted below is the final song off their debut album from a couple years ago. TRUST have a new album coming out in March and I could have picked a song from that. But I didn’t. Because I have #punk #rock #ETHOS. And I’m sure glad we had this talk today.

Spain’s Delorean play Music Hall of Williamsburg tonight. They were supposed to play here a few months ago. But they had to reschedule. They had a pretty good excuse though. They were FUCKING KIDNAPPED. Hey, Ms. Lauryn Hill? Next time you cancel a show (and there will be a next time because there always is with you which is why i’m singling you out in a write-up about Delorean) it better be because you were FUCKING KIDNAPPED. (or you’re in jail - jail works as an excuse too.)

Another good excuse to cancel a show is if they won’t let you into the country. That’s what happened to Brendan Canning (of Broken Social Scene) - who was supposed to play Mercury Lounge last year. But customs or whoever said “Nope. Not on my watch, bub. You go back to yer porch in Toronto, pal.” But let’s let the past be the past. Because Brendan is finally playing tonight…..assuming he gets in this time. But you know what they say about assuming. It only makes an ass out of u and yao ming.

Damien Jurado plays Bowery Ballroom. He’s been writing good songs from years. Like this one. Which is like audible peyote.

CHEAT SHEET DOUBLE MEAT HEAT. Other notable shows tonight = Neutral Milk Hotel at BAM (thus already doth mentioned) + JD Samson & MEN at Littlefield + Andrew Cedermark at Glasslands + The Detroit Cobras at The Bell House + The Denzels at Radio Bushwick + Travis Morrison of The Dismemberment Plan at The Grand Victory.

SEE ALL OF OUR FRIDAY SHOW PICKS.

Saturday - January 25th, 2014 A.D.

Baby’s All Right is alright tonight. Because Big Ups are playing, baby. Hey. Have you heard their new record? You should. It’s delightful. In an “everything sucks” sort of way. I love it. Au Revoir Simone is also DJ’ing this show. Which is a weird sound pairing. But hey, I don’t book ‘em. I just go to ‘em.

Electronic pop perfection. Baltimore’s Adventure play Death by Audio tonight. I still love this song “Rio.” And it’s almost three years old! (2011? What was that even LIKE?? Did your fingers get real sore spinning those rotary phones?) I never give up on good songs. Even when they say to keep it fresh and emerging and new. And neither should you. It’s about #ETHOS, guys.

Har Mar Superstar and Computer Magic play a free show at Brooklyn Night Bazaar tonight. And man, how many times have I talked about Brooklyn Night Bazaar on this thing? So many times that a.) I can actually spell bazaar correctly now and 2.) I’ve seriously considered recycling my “How Bazaar How Bazaar” joke. So I will. Ready? It goes a little something like this. “Ooooh, Har Mar Superstar*. You’re making me crazyyyy. Every time I shop around. Every time I shop around. And listen to bass.”

(*works better when the band name is one syllable - but you gotta work with the material you’ve been given - also this joke sucks on every level - even this one.)

(again i love posting videos nobody will watch - that’s how i get me some kicks.)

People in bands you’ve heard of (Fleet Foxes + Grizzly Bear + Beach House + The Walkmen + etc.) work together to play Gene Clark’s “No Other” album in full tonight and tomorrow at Music Hall of Williamsburg. But both shows are sold out. Neat! Don’t know Gene Clark or this album? Here you go! There’s nothing better than listening to full albums on YouTube!

CHEAT-Y CHEAT-Y BANG BANG! Other notable shows tonight = Blondes at Glasslands + Goldroom at Slake + Dr. Dog (wow! that’s one SMART pooch!) at Terminal 5 + Heliotropes at Radio Bushwick + Psychic Twin at Cameo Gallery + Neutral Milk Hotel at BAM (but I’ve already mentioned that like a hundred times already - ok maybe not a hundred - probably more like a million - it’s all like “Mangum! Mangum! Mangum! around here.”)

SEE ALL OF OUR SATURDAY SHOW PICKS.

Sunday - January 26th, 2014 A.D.

If you have a kid or have access to one, you can go to Brooklyn Bowl to see Spires and TEEN today. And if you need help finding a child so that you may go get drunk at a show during the day, let me know. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old that MIGHT be available. But only ONE is THE GOOD SON. DUM DUM DUM!

(i’m going to post it twice and STILL nobody will watch it - i love this game.)

Let’s close strong with a quiet Palehound song - who play Shea Stadium tonight. I’ve mentioned Palehound a thousand times on this thing. I mean a trillion.

SEE ALL OF OUR SUNDAY SHOW PICKS.

That was The Best Shows This Weekend.

And thanks for reading it again, all 13 of you!

You guys and gals are the best and I appreciate your beautiful eyes.

I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST MACAULAY CULKIN IT’S THE GODDAMN PIZZA I CAN’T STAND!