Written by Patrick McNamara
It’s hard to believe we are several days into January now and I’m still writing “I don’t want to give you this money!” on all of my checks. Oh, time. You fickle fleeting wonderful social construct, you.
But things are going to be different this year. We will all be exactly who we want to be and none of us will ever feel sad, lonely, or inadequate in anything again. Forever and Ever. Amen.
Just kidding! Everything’s a cycle! Ha ha! Oh wells! Life, am I right? You betcha! Yoinks! We didn’t start the fire! The world’s just been turning! Like sands in the hour glass of dust in the wind, dudes!
It’s all part of the game. I’m OK. You’re OK. Everything remains tremendously CHILL. So let’s settle down now. And consider good things - not bad.
These are The Best Shows This Weekend. Read ‘em and weep.
For the possibilities…..
Thursday - January 9th, 2013 A.D.
Hazy trippy eccentro-pop hippy Connan Mockasin has come all the way from New Zealand to play for you at Mercury Lounge tonight. (and Friday at Glasslands). Now, considering that New Zealand is on THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD the least you could do is show up for one of these. I mean, the dude was on a plane for, like, 20+ hours! It’s called manners, guys. Mood Rings opens. Hey, they played our Rockness CMJ in 2012! And what a dynamic storyteller I am today.
Against Me! play Rough Trade tonight (and Friday at The Stone Pony). I am, as of this writing, still reserving the right to not go to both of these shows. Because I’m kind of mad that Against Me! STILL haven’t asked me to be in the band - despite all the years of hand-written correspondence filled with my insistent pleas. It’s like, who cares that I don’t know how to play an instrument? I shred from within.
If the shredding gets too deep and world weary storytelling troubadours are more your speed, David Dondero plays The Grand Victory tonight. His old guitar taught him to sing a love song. It showed him how to laugh and how to cry. It introduced him to some friends of his and brightened up some days…..I could go on, but somewhere in the nebulous firmament John Denver is getting mad at me for bringing his song into something that’s supposed to be about David Dondero.
Friday - January 10th, 2013 A.D.
Goodness. There are a lot of fine shows this evening. I don’t even know where to start. Well, how about we start at the beginning? Yes. That’s a very fine place to start. And after we’re done, let’s go climb every mountain and ford every stream. If we’re feeling up to it.
Mac DeMarco + Hunters + Delicate Steve play a free show at Brooklyn Night Bazaar tonight. That’s because every show at Brooklyn Night Bazaar is free. But I like typing the word free any chance I can get. Free. Free. Free. It’s fun. I like all three of these bands...guys...artists...groups…collectives...whatever. Delicate Steve makes mighty fine eccentro-pop. Hunters does super solid punk. And Mac DeMarco is Canadian! Wow! Mint! Rare!
Weekend: What are you doing tonight through Sunday?
Nothing: I have no plans.
Weekend (loud dark shoegaze) + Nothing (loud dark shoegaze) lead a good lineup at Bowery Ballroom featuring sounds that range from loud dark shoegaze to loud dark shoegaze. Therefore, this one comes Highly Recommended for fans who like alt country.
Sepalcure play Cameo Gallery tonight. Go if you like to dance. And if you like to dance can you teach me how? My lower body is basically on the right track out there, I think. But I still don’t really know what to do with my arms. Do I punch the air to the beats? Just let ‘em hang? Point to random things on the booms? Your assistance is greatly appreciated. Please email your dance rates to patrick at oh my rockness dot com with “Butterflies Are Very Beautiful Flying Objects” in the subject line.
Phoenix’s Destruction Unit play Saint Vitus Bar tonight. And be careful with this one. Because Destruction Unit are in the blasting business. Caution is urged. This was is will be more explosive than anything their neighbors at Ready Demolition in Tucson, Arizona ever did.
BRING OUT THE CHEAT SHEET! That’s a joke for the 13 of you. Other notable shows tonight = Action Bronson at Irving Plaza + Holy Ghost! (DJ situation) at Webster Hall + Unstoppable Death Machines at Shea Stadium + Jake Bugg and Albert Hammond Jr. at Terminal 5 + Porches at Silent Barn + I don’t know, man, just click that “SEE ALL OF OUR FRIDAY SHOW PICKS” down there.
Saturday - January 11th, 2013 A.D.
Krill + Palehound lead a good lineup (please note: I rely heavily on the phrase “lead a good lineup” when writing these dynamic articles) at Silent Barn tonight. Here is a song taken from Krill’s upcoming EP out next month. It’s called “Steve Hears Pile in Malden and Bursts Into Tears.” It’s good. But I really can’t wait to hear that other song called “Turd.” The possibilities could be endless when you’re listening to a song called “Turd.”
If you like the ha ha ha shows, Lewis Black + Gillbert Gottfried + Liam McEneaney do a ha ha ha show at Fontana’s tonight. Personally, I have never been a fan of the ha ha has or even humouuur in general - for I believe it often to be in pouuur taste. The farts and belches and what not. But if you like the ha ha ha shows and happen to be in the neighbouuurhood - who am I to judge? For I am but a simple localized American who likes to toss around British spellings of things, often incorrectly.
Lee Ranaldo and The Dust finally play The Bell House after their show from 10/25 (OMG WHAT WAS 2013 EVEN LIKE?!?) was rescheduled for tonight. I have been thinking about nothing else other than this show since right before Halloween. So this better be the best show in the history of shows. Or I just wasted 80 something days of my life.
Sunday - January 12th, 2013 A.D.
Jay-Z? Never heard of him. Barclays Center? Never heard of it. Brooklyn Nets? You must mean New Jersey. What? Bon Jovi made $259 million dollars touring in 2013? Surely you must be Winger.
This might be a good night to "couch it."
And this has been The Best Shows This Weekend. Did you like it?
I’ll take that silence as a YESSSSSSS.
This year is going to rule.