July 14, 2013
Written by Patrick McNamara
Let’s get right down to the business of meandering on about The* Best* Shows* This* Weekend*.
(*when I capitalize the first letter of every word like that - that means this dynamic web content is really important - super, super important - one can only imagine how important things would get if I ended The Best Shows This Weekend with an exclamation point.
These Are The Best Shows This Weekend!!*
(*the DOUBLE exclamation was a serendipitous opportunity there for the taking so I just ran with it!!)
Thursday - July 18th, 2013 A.D.
Super solid garage* guy Mikal Cronin plays tonight at MoMA. It’s free....with admission to MoMA....which is now $25. When I worked there (Visitors Services, what!), I think it was $12. And people got mad at that price even then. Then again, that was...wait, 13 years ago? Sigh. Time stoppeth for noeth man thus doth sayeth some dude named Steve or Bruce or something.
(*you should see how Mikal works a wrench and inflates old basketballs and organizes the useless junk people are afraid to throw away)
There’s another free (w/ RSVP) House of Vans show tonight. This time with !!! (pronounced WEE! ZING! POW!... I think....pretty so sure) and Jacques Renalt. I don’t know why, but every time I go to this place, I always have a suddenly strong urge to buy a new pair of sneakers. And as a result I now have, like, 9 gently worn penny loafers lying around my apartment. Man. Sometimes I really wish I had a garage.
Wild Yaks play Glasslands. I know I’ve told you this before, but that band is really good. Live, they're super tight. Now, I know this isn’t the first time I’ve embedded this good song of theirs. And I apologize profusely for this repetition of goodness. Because this isn’t some game, guys. This is real life.
Sean Nicholas Savage plays at 285 Kent tonight. I think he sounds like Harry Nilsson. What do you think? Email me to discuss it, chit-chat, and just generally catch-up on things. It’s been way too long.
Oh yeah. Alice Cooper is at Beacon Theater. I hear he’s one helluva golfer.
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Friday - July 19th, 2013 A.D.
This might be my favorite show of the week. I can’t say for sure though....since it hasn’t happened yet. But Roomrunner + Greys + Weird Room + Heeney at Shea Stadium? Please LOUD me! Remember. Bring earplugs and nobody gets hurt. Or, go without them because you think two little foam things in your ears are symbols for “old” and “lame.” Whatever works best for wherever you’re at in your own journey, man.
A good 1-2-3 BOOM at Bowery Ballroom tonight with Skaters + Drowners + The Denzels. All three are good bands. And all have names that just sound good together. Skaters. Drowners. The Denzels. Go ahead. Say them with me. Skaters. Drowners. The Denzels. Very pleasant and easy on tongue, right? Wrong.
Justin Timberlake + Jay-Z play the cozy, intimate club Yankee Stadium tonight (and tomorrow too). Justin, if you didn’t already know, was on a Disney Channel show before having frosted tips in a boy band before ripping off Michael Jackson before his dick in a box before a movie about The Face Book before receiving critical crossover “cred.” Cool. Sounds good. Sounds really, really good.
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Saturday - July 20th, 2013 A.D.
Bob Saget plays both Bowery Ballroom and MHOW tonight. A few extremely little known facts about Bob Saget. #1 Bob Saget was on this show, “Full House.” #2 “Full House” was a terrible show #3 Bob Saget’s stand-up show is often “dirty” i.e. “working blue.” #4 This is kind of ironic* (don’t cha think) because “Full House” was so family friendly. #5 Michelle, the little girl in “Full House,” was actually played by twins!
(*final little known fact - Alanis Morissette’s smash hit “You Oughta Know - oh - oh-oh” was actually about ex-boyfriend Dave Coulier, who was good old lovable Uncle Joey and Bob Saget’s co-worker on “Full House”)
(**final final little known fact - it was recently revealed that Carly Simon’s famously cryptic “You’re So Vain” song was ALSO about Dave Coulier!)
Joakim plays late at Cameo. He’s from Paris and here’s his jam.
Also, Odd Future play Williamsburg Park. Recommended if you like young men being rewarded for behaving badly. Or, (as discussed a couple weeks previously) if you're a Courtney Love fan.
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Sunday - July 21st, 2013 A.D.
Hey, punk. Screaming Females play Maxwell’s* at 2pm today. They’re good. So you should go, punk. (*hmmm, did I mention that place is closing soon? not sure - I could scroll back and check - but I have no rear view mirror, guys - you and I must never look back - we must look forward and press on - press on, dear Rockness reader - Press. On.)
(ps: Ted Leo also plays Maxwell’s today...and by today, I mean tonight.)
Everclear plays The Capitol Theatre tonight too. But really, what can be said about Everclear that hasn’t already been said? Before anyone did anything...Everclear wasn’t doing anything either.
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That’s it. That’s the rub. Those were The Best Shows This Week...that haven’t even happened yet....probably...it depends on which day you are reading this....I’ll tell you which day it is for me, though....it’s Saturday.....July 13th....2013 A.D.....3:05pm....wait....no, it just turned to 3:06pm....as time forever passes on...so sayeth the great dude named Steve...or was it Bruce...or Chad...or Todd...whatever...forever...fin.