This week, when sweet July turns to the dogs of August, you’re most likely doing your summer fling things. You’re busy at the beach, or bringing cookies to Grandma, maybe painting fences in Ireland, falling in love, saving the cockatoos, whatever it is that you do.
Many of you aren’t really thinking about the super dynamic local live music concert shows. I get it. I’ve been there. I was confused once too.
But some of you are. And I am. So this one’s for us.
These Are The Best Shows This Week.
(And When I Capitalize Every First Letter Like That You Know This Time It’s Serious.)
Monday - July 28th, 2014 A.D.
VVhy don’t vve start this thing with something excellent that also happens to be free? Alvvays (click that to read more kind vvords) play Rough Trade tonight in support of their recently released debut album. You know vvhat that record is? It is a sublime pop gem. And you heard it here FOURTH. Remember. Pay nobody to see this shovv. Nobody at all.
(no double-u’s were used in the making of this blurb)
Brooks Wheelan got canned from SNL. So my trusted leading online alt blobs tell me. I haven’t watched that show in awhile. Becomes I’m a grownup now. But good old Brooks has picked himself up, dusted himself off, and readies the jump to fall back on stand-up comedy at Union Hall tonight.
Also. Lauryn Hill plays Brooklyn Bowl. The way she’s been behaving towards her fans lately, I wonder if she deserves the “Ms.” I don’t know if I have the power to strip a salutation from somebody. But I guess I’m doing it. Hope she figures it out. She had some hits. Doors at 6pm. Show starts to 8 PM. So try to get there around 3 AM.
Other notables shows = Thao With The Get Down Stay Down at Music Hall of Williamsburg + The Kooks at Webster Hall + Eric Copeland (of Black Dice) and DJ Dog Dick at Trans-Pecos... that’s DJ Dog Dick, ladies and gentleman…DJ...Dog...Dick.
Tuesday - July 29th, 2014 A.D.
Conor Oberst plays Central Park Summerstage tonight with Dawes. He’s had a rough go of it as of late. Surely you’ve read about it. But it seems as if wrongs have been righted and everyone can now concentrate on the smooth sounds of a solid performer who’s been so seemingly forever. Bright Eyes is my shepherd. I shall not taunt.
Ian Svenonius (formerly: Nation of Ulysses + The Make-Up + Weird War etc.) plays Baby’s All Right with Chain and the Gang, a band that’s been slinging the K Records fuzz core for a few years now. Consider going to see a #true #original #alt. For Alts. By Alts.
The Kooks play Terminal 5 tonight. They played there last night too. But I mentioned it super casually. Nobody but you 13 regulars read those “Other notable shows” things at the end. So I should give The Kooks a little more space. And here’s what I’m going to say about this angular British guitar band from the mid ‘00s. I get The Kooks confused with all those other angular British guitar bands from the mid ‘00s... like Arctic Monkeys... and The Fratellis... and Kaiser Chiefs... and The Libertines... and Franz Ferdinand...and knitting...and knitting! aaaand knitting!!! aaaaand knitting!!!! and knit
Other notable shows = DJ Dog Dick at Shea Stadium...that’s DJ Dog Dick, ladies and gentleman...DJ...Dog...Dick
Wednesday - July 30th, 2014 A.D.
Sydney sunshine psych pop heads Jagwar Ma play Webster Hall. They were name checked last year by Noel Gallagher as being one of his favorite new bands. A year is a long time in The Music Industry. So I wonder if Noel would now just say Jagwar Ma were one of his favorite bands or if he's already forgotten. I’m not sure. Noel never calls me anymore. I think he’s still pissed I wouldn’t replace Liam in Oasis. Time to get over that, man.
Brooklyn’s Nicholas Nicholas play Muchmore's and this is one of MY favorite new bands. It’s the hazy haunting bittersweet beat pop project of Chris Masullo, who also plays in Heavenly Beat. If you go to this, prepare to feel a little tug near your chest. It’s OK. That just means you feel the pretty pain this guy is putting down. Or, it just means you’re having a heart attack. Should’ve laid off those Reubens, tho.
Eccentro-poppers Life Size Maps lead a good lineup at Baby’s All Right. I’ve liked this band for a couple years now. And I still like them now. I will never turn my back on good bands. Never forget. You take care of the hits. I’ll take care of the rest. Keep the goodness going. Forever and Ever. Amen.
Other notable shows = Jesse Malin at The Bowery Electric + The Temper Trap at Bowery Ballroom + Controller at Mercury Lounge + Eric Copeland and DJ Dog Dick at The Ho_se...that’s DJ Dog Dick, ladies and gentlemen...DJ...Dog...Dick*
(*I’m just rolling with it like I go rollin’ with the homies, u kno?)
(RIP BM - a star returns to heaven)
Thursday - July 31st, 2014 A.D.
Lo-fi pop haze punks (sure, that sounds good) Cherry Glazzer play Mercury Lounge. Singer/songwriter/guitarist Clementine Creevy is 17 years young (maybe she’s turned 18 by now - there are no rear view mirrors here at Whoa My Blobness). Drummer Hannah Uribe is 16. And old man bass player Sean Redman is 22. Now that we’ve got their names and ages out of the way, let’s dish some more super interesting facts. The social security number for each of the members are as follows:
Big Ups play Palisades. I already told you about the goodness of Big Ups like two years ago. And I'll tell you again. From now until the end. Forever and Ever. Amen.
Swedish singer-songwriter folk pop superstar Jose Gonzalez (please pay no attention to that 8 year old band profile) play Damrosch Bandshell at Lincoln Center for FREE. I swear to you that’s true. My CAPS LOCK button never lies. Of course, this bandshell is named for the Damrosch family. Who could forget THAT crew, am I right? They were bigger than the Jackson 5 and the Tenenbaums and the Glass family combined. Who was your favorite Damrosch? Mine was probably Clara. But Frank was pretty cool too.
Public Access TV play a free late show at Mercury Lounge. I guess they’re super buzzy in England.* Would you like to hear what they sound like? Great. Stream this and you’ll immediately understand why they’re huge in England. They remind me of The Kooks...or maybe I’m thinking of The Fratellis...or is it Arctic Monkeys...no no I mean The Libertines...wait wait don’t tell me...
*Meet New York City's Hottest Band --- hee-hee ---- if you say so, NME
Other notable shows = Juan Wauters and Cassie Ramone and Las Rosas at Glasslands + Supersuckers at Asbury Lanes + Dave Hill at Littlefield + The Temper Trap at Music Hall of Williamsburg + DJ Goldroom at Verboten + Fort Lean at Shea Stadium + Eric Copeland and DJ Dog Dick at Silent Barn...DJ Dog Dick, ladies and gentleman...DJ...Dog...Dick
(I shit you not. DJ Dog Dick is playing four shows in a row this week. Maybe more. Who knows. I never look ahead. But the fact that he is really supports the shtick.)
Friday - August 1st, 2014 A.D.
Future pop idols Drowners lead a solid at Brooklyn Night Bazaar. Not only is this one free (as always at this fine establishment) but it’s also a celebration of ten years of The Deli Magazine - run by Paolo De Gregorio - serving up the local music scene with some deliciously emerging alts. Happy Birthday, P.
The energy shall be high at this one. Crazed post-wave ravers Future Punx jack up the fun level to extremely pleasurable levels at Death by Audio. You’ll have a good time at this one. Bet. But let's not do so with real money though, OK? Also playing is LA’s Roses, a new band featuring Juan from Abe Vigoda (please pay no attention to that 7 year old profile I just linked to). Roses play sunshine pop :) even though their songs are often about pain :(
If you REALLY want to get twee tonight, you could go to the “Saved By The 90s” party happening tonight at (le) poisson rouge. And guess who’s going to be there?! No. Not Mark-Paul Gosselaar. No, no. Not Mario Lopez. Not Tiffani Thiessen. Dustin Diamond ain’t coming. No way. I’m talking about the Big Fish. The Real Enchilada. Live. In person. For one night only. I'm talking Dennis Haskins aka the one and only Mr. Belding!!!!!!!!!! Ohhhhhhhh, snap.
The Casket Girls open for Snowmine at South Street Seaport. This one is free. But it would be worth paying for because The Casket Girls are pretty good. Even if they have a mostly bullshit backstory about writing/recording their debut record in one night while possessed in a trance or something PR poopy like that.
Neon Indian is apparently never talking to whoever used to be in his band again. Because he’s been rocking the DJ solo thing for quite some time. And tonight is no exception. Alan P is naked and bare up there all by his lonesome at Cameo Gallery. Don’t worry. He’ll still manage to spin the hits. But he'll have no one to lean over and high-five after he does :(
Sigh. The Offspring play the Stone Pony tonight. The Offspring were probably my least favorite band of the ‘90s. And I thought that song “Come Out And Play” was finally out of my life forever. I was wrong. Guess I couldn’t keep ‘em separated after all.
(Fine. I'll post the damn video to the song I can't stand. Because I like to abuse myself sometimes. It's fun! And at least it's not that damn "Pretty Fly For a White Guy" - what a sound poop slinger this band is.)
Other notable shows = Nine Inch Nails (who?) and Soundgarden (huh?) at Jones Beach + Supersuckers at Gramercy Theatre + Galapagos Now! at Glasslands + Reignwolf at Bowery Ballroom
Saturday - August 2nd, 2014 A.D.
Are you ready for some serious shreddage? If so, say SLAY. The beautifully brutal United Nations and the brutally beautiful Frameworks play Saint Vitus tonight. Your ears may bleed. This might destroy your face. You may even rub shoulders with the devil. But the heat’s gonna be worth it, man. THANK YOU UNITED NATIONS, MAY I HAVE ANOTHER!!!!!
The Hotelier play The Studio at Webster Hall. Many of the leading alt blobs are already calling their album “Home, Like Noplace Is There” as Records of The Year, One Of The. This just further proves what all us #true #original #alts have said all along. Emo, Guys You. A Not Word, That’s Dirty.
Jurassic 5 play Best Buy Theater. Let’s kick it back to 1997 when I was a NYC tourist and took my first subway ride to Other Music and bought Jurassic 5’s self-released EP featuring the smash hit jam (to me, anyway) “Concrete Schoolyard.” That day made me want to move here. So I did.
British club thumpers Simian Mobile Disco play live as a band at MoMA PS 1 today for Summer Warm Up and then do their big time DJ dance thing later tonight at Cameo Gallery for FIXED. Look, man. I know “Hustler” isn’t their latest jam. But it’ll always be the definitive SMD hit to me.
(How the HELL is this song 7 years old.)
Mega loud Toronto thrash punks The Soupcans play Death by Audio. It’s really not fair that Toronto gets all the good punk bands AND it is one of the only places you can get a peameal bacon sandwich. Shit ain’t right.
Other notable shows = Mark Eitzel at The Wick + Sinkane at The Lot in Long Island City + The Baseball Project at Rough Trade + Nine Inch Nails (not familiar) at PNC Bank Arts Center (banks support the arts?) + DJ LadyHawke at Glasslands + Roses at Cake Shop
Sunday - August 3rd, 2014 A.D.
Legendary Japanese doom drone shoegazecore metal band Boris play Bowery Ballroom. (They also do something “drumless” and “drone-y” tomorrow at Saint Vitus but man I’m not even THINKING about next week right now.) Boris is certainly worth seeing live at least once in your life. Bring earplugs and no one gets hurt.
Long Island heavy melodic hardcore popsters Iron Chic play Knitting Factory. Their album “The Constant One” is on my shortlist for Record of the Year. It’s super good and pumps me up. This one will be F-U-N. And isn’t that what this is all about?
I sure think so.
Other notable shows = The Baseball Project at Asbury Lanes + Roses at Silent Barn + Allen Toussaint at Joe’s Pub
Thanks for reading! And all the way to the end to boot! I tell you what. You 13 regular readers are the smartest and most attractive people to have ever looked at dynamic digital content.
You really should consider doing some summer spring flings and things now while you still have the light. Have fun at the beach, say hi to Grandma, remember your form when you paint, love hard, save the cockatoos, and anything else it is you may now do.