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London based (and Glasgow born) Rustie (Russell Whyte) is an up-and-coming dance jam master. You heard that here FIRST... well, actually maybe not first. There are a lot of websites out there on the world wide blob. But maybe you heard it here... 4th? Hey, 4th is pretty good, all things considered.

Anyway, Rustie makes super melodic disco synth that comes at you hard with soulful bass booms and big time jazzy beats; you know, the kind of jazzy beats that skip and stutter and go perfectly all over the place. So yeah, read between the lines on all that and call this dubstep similar to Burial and Sepalcure and... Skrillex?

Ah, dubstep... shmubstep. That term doesn't even mean anything anymore. (By the way, remember that genre of music called "college rock?" Yeah. That was pretty ALT.) As long-time Rockness readers know, I simply prefer to call anything that's a jam and makes me want to dance a DANCE JAM.

Let's not complicate things. Rustie makes dance jams. Free your mind and your body will follow.

Is that not the coolest band name in the world, or what? And it's new, too. These two guys used to be known as Starscream, but they had to change their name due to something dumb like "the law."

But no matter what they're calling themselves these days, this Brooklyn band has been pretty damn awesome for a while now. Along with their pals Anamanaguchi, Infinity Shred is one of the leading 8-bit bands cruising around in magical 8-bit land. (8-bit: it's more than just "video game music," kids.)

Infinity Shred's drawn-out, space-y songs take their sweet time getting into their groove; but once they get there... look out because you've just been hooked. Did you ever like those early Trans Am albums from way back when? I did. Infinity Shred kind of reminds me of those couple classics... meets Com Truise... meets Fang Island... meets I almost made it through without mentioning Nintendo.

Basically, Infinity Shred makes jams that'll take you to Mars, man.

London's Echo Lake is an enchantingly melodic band led by the floating, sweetly assured vocals of Linda Jarvis and the precise songwriting craftsmanship of Thom Hill (guitarist/production). Together, they create super lush and lovely sun-drenched pop that's like Galaxie 500 meets Beach House meets Velocity Girl meets Phil Spector meets Black Tambourine meets, well, you should know what I mean by now.

It's all very pretty and noisy and sunny and swirly. I'm pretty sure all the old fartsons would call this "shoegaze" but then again the old fartsons probably still call it "college rock," too.

As of this writing (September of 2069 – I'm writing this with my retinas while my jetboard drives me to my work sphere), Echo Lake are set to release their debut album for Slumberland. It's probably going to do very well because a.) the songs are good (that always helps) and b.) Slumberland is on an amazing album release streak lately - seriously, did they sell their soul to the Devil at the crossroads or something? (...oh wait, I think that was Ralph Macchio ...oh, just IMDB it). Anyway, Echo Lake. They're a good band. So... alright!

Many music writers/reviewers like to use this trick: "There are those who say that six-piece (!) San Francisco band Whirr sounds like My Bloody Valentine, but that would perhaps be an inaccurate starting point for this explosively good sound." See? See what they did there?

They started their write-up saying that Whirr sounds like My Bloody Valentine by saying they were NOT going to be like everyone else and start their write-up by saying Whirr sounds like My Bloody Valentine! It absolves the reviewer of any responsibility to be original in their own opinion whatsoever! Fun times! We've gone over all this before, of course.

But moving on, San Francisco's Whirr plays loud "wall of sound" stuff that sounds like, well, they've been compared to My Bloody Valentine (by others! not by me!) but that's certainly an easy comparison to make. I mean, right? Might I be so bold as to suggest that's even a LAZY comparison? Seriously. What is WRONG with everyone in the world but me!?! I would never, ever compare Whirr to My Bloody Valentine. Whirr? My Bloody Valentine? Whirr and My Bloody Valentine?!?! No ways, guys. No way.

File Under: My Bloody Valentine

I don't know anything about Amtrac (other than that he's a dude, he's a producer, and he's from either Kentucky or Miami, or both?). But I just had to write something about this guy after hearing his remix of Chromatics' "Bird of Paradise." Because friends, this is one of the best remixes I've heard in a long, long, time.

In fact, it might be the best I've heard since Fred Falke's remix of Grizzly Bear's "Two Weeks" and that was a.) a few years ago and b.) an absolute modern day remix classic.

Now, it helps that this Chromatics song in question was good to begin with. After all, you can't put lipstick on a pig, right guys? Right, guys? Guys? But I wouldn't call the original version a JAM, you know? I'd call it a hauntingly slow-paced pop song that makes me sleepy. So it's amazing that Amtrac turns THAT into a JAM. I love when that happens. And it doesn’t happen too often.

So therefore, that's why I'm writing about someone I know next to nothing about. But Amtrac's jam tells me all I really need to know, bros. This jam holds the secret to EVERYTHING.

Evy Jane is a darkly experimental electronic Alt 'n B duo (yes, I said ALT 'n B) from Vancouver comprised of (primary) singer Evelyn and (primary) beat maker Jeremiah (no last names needed; like Prince or Madonna... or Sinbad). Evy Jane is all about ethereal feel and soulfully sinister emotion and S-E-X. And what does that mean exactly? I have no idea (especially the S-E-X part... I think that spells 'trouble').

So instead let's play everybody's favorite band comparisons game. (It's like Plinko from The Price is Right, only even more thrilling!) To get you at somewhat of a starting point regarding Evy Jane's sound, think Dirty Projectors (Alt 'n B) meets Purity Ring (sinister soul) meets The Weeknd (I just wanted to say it because they predicted people would say it) meets Zambri (I like Zambri) meets Austra (like them too).

Most importantly, all you need to know is that Evy Jane writes good songs. And that's all we really want in life, right? Good songs? Shhh. That's a deal, friend. That's a deal. Anyway, get into these two. You'll be glad you did.

Indians is one dude. His name is Soren and I don't know his last name but I know he's from Copenhagen. That's in Denmark. Not in India. Or Indiana, even. Don't believe me? Look it up. Check my work. Boom. Told you.

As Indians, Soren makes pretty and dreamy bedroom synth-ish pop (not to be confused with synth-y pop... two VERY different made-up genre adverbs) that twinkles and sparkles and sets you adrift on softly melodic bliss. This kind of reminds me of Sufjan Stevens at his least twee (no hand claps or costumes or props involved... I don't think).

Maybe it's just because both Soren and Sufjan have good voices. That could be it. No, actually I think it's that both are solid songwriters. Yes, that's definitely it. Unless, of course, it's just because both names start with 'S' and it triggers a subconscious urge to link the two for categorical purposes but let's move on.

Indians' music certainly comes at you with a glow. You know that glow I mean. So if you want to feel all good and glow-y (not to be confused with glow-bro... that's a totally different sitch involving frat bros who listen to chillwave), this Soren fellow might be the new fellow for you. I like pretty music sometimes.

Remember when we wrote about a Happy Birthday and told you that singer Kyle Thomas was in another band called King Tuff? Yeah, I didn't think so. But pretend you do remember, and then pretend you're excited to finally know what this King Tuff band is all about. Thanks for pretending!

And bud, you've come to the right place. Because we're here to tell you that King Tuff is a band that plays super catchy garage-pop with a hint of a doo-wop sock-hop vibe. Mystery revealed! And the music made is much more precious than the name King Tuff implies. You'd think a band named King Tuff would want to throttle you before throwing you off a cliff or something. But no, these Tuff-y dudes just wanna chill out and booze with you.

As for band comparisons, I'm mostly sticking with what I said for Happy Birthday: Girls, The Smith Westerns... maybe the late great Jay Reatard. But here's something new: how about I say that King Tuff sort of sounds like that one band that sang that song "That Thing You Do" for that movie I never saw... but like a drunk, blown out version of that band. How about that?

Have you heard jj's new song "Beautiful Life?" (It's not even going to be that "new" of a song by the time this profile is published but I don't care because I'm punk rock like that.) How good of a song is that song? It's a really good song. It's the kind that makes me sad-happy; or maybe happy-sad.

You see? This song mixes up my emotions so much I can't even tell the difference between happiness and sadness anymore. Wait. This has got to be happiness, because the song is called "Beautiful Life." Right? But I remember feeling sad in that movie "Life is Beautiful" so I just don't know what to think anymore.

Anyway, jj has more in their arsenal than just this one song. The Swedish male/female duo has been around a few years and released some stuff for Secretly Canadian to great acclaim. But I never wanted to tell you how good they were until I heard "Beautiful Life." This is ethereal bliss, is what it is. This is subtle electro-pop wonderment. This is... well... this is whatever you want it to be.

But it can't be anything unless you first listen to it. I just did again. And while I'm not sure if these are happy tears or sad tears, I know it feels good either way to moisturize my face naturally. (I use moisturizing lotion in the mornings because I'm punk rock like that).

Balam Acab is 21-year-old Alec Koone from Pennsylvania. Sampling a whole mess of found sounds, he creates slightly disturbing bass heavy jams whose ominous repetition would leave you feeling mostly paranoid, if not for the fact that these songs are so intoxicatingly pretty. I love contrasts like this. That's what art is all about, right?

And Balam Acab artfully toes the line between contrasting genres; on one hand he explores that kind of eerie synth (witch-house?) that makes you slowly shudder, on the other he delves into melodically soulful instrumental that propels you to chill the hell out. It might not be ok, but it will probably be ok. That's the internal journey of your subconscious that Balam Acab takes you on.

Because he's good, Balam Acab will appeal to a wide array of people. That's what happens when you're good. But let's say if you like James Blake or Clams Casino or Holy Other or How to Dresss Well or Beacon (or other good bands), you have a good chance of being into Balam Acab too.

Sometimes you just want to listen to someone with a pretty voice. That's Doe Paoro. Sometimes you want to listen to someone with a pretty voice who's also kind of weird. That's Doe Paoro, too.

This is super melodic soulful pop that sometimes gets all eccentric and stuff. You know, you think it's going one way (climatic chorus or something) and instead it goes another (no chorus whatsoever and an epic beat breakdown that slightly rattles your mind instead).

Apparently Paoro is also heavily influenced by her time in the Indian Himalayas. I've never been there because the subway doesn't stop there, but I'm sure it's nice. So yeah, Doe Paoro is pretty good. Think Coco Rosie meets BELL meets Lauryn Hill. (Other people say James Blake but I don't hear that at all). Word.

Zammuto is Nick Zammuto. He was one half of The Books. The Books, a good band, are no more. Yes, that's sad. But it's also entirely ok, because Zammuto is just as good and very similar in futuristic alt-electronic style.

Still using computers and other assorted gadgetry, Zammuto creates extended, experimental (whatever that means) pop songs that are highly accessible and powered by a craftsman's (i.e. music geek's) touch. I don't know how this guy makes the sounds that he makes, and honestly I don't want to know - just like I didn't want to know how David Copperfield made The Statue of Liberty disappear (A turning stage? Gimme a break!).

All I know is that, like The Books, this is a highly original exploration of what electronic pop music can sound like if it's made with a vision incomparable to any other electro popper out there.

So in other words, no, this doesn't sound like New Order. It sounds like Zammuto... and The Books.

Reptar is a band that makes something that can only be described as giddy-pop. For this music is... wait. Hold on. Let's back up a second. Of COURSE there are other ways of describing Reptar's music. "Can only be described" is an often used music writer's trick to make their words and opinions seem definitive. And, of course, nothing is definitive except that nothing is definite.

So let me try again: Reptar is a band that makes something that CAN be described as giddy-pop (better Rockness... better). This is music made by individuals who appear to be happy. For further proof of their good vibes, you can look to the fact that Reptar the band was named after keyboardist/founder William Kennedy's tricked out bike. His bike, guys... his bike.

Anyway, not only are these four guys from Athens, Georgia optimistic, they're also slightly odd. So this type of squiggly rock with plenty o' synths (i.e. "eccentro-pop") is what gets them compared to Devo and Talking Heads and MGMT. I hear some Vampire Weekend, too. This can ONLY be described as Vampire Weekend inspired, guys. ONLY.

Reptar recently toured with Foster the People. I really try not to talk trash about bands I don't like ("if you can't say something nice..."), but Foster the People is really terrible. But Reptar is not. So don't let that tour bring you down. Because Reptar gets you lifted.

Alright! Alright! I'll write about Alabama Shakes! Their buzz is basically smashing everybody over the head, anyway. Better take my lumps and get it over with. And please, don't judge me for initially getting this band confused with Harlem Shakes. Don't judge me for that.

Alabama Shakes are a soulful rock band that likes to get all countrified sometimes. I think this is called being "rootsy" but I'm not entirely sure. Wasn't Hootie and the Blowfish considered "rootsy?" If so, this ain't that. This is classic rock retro music mighty good for boozing to. Singer Brittany Howard just has that kind of scratchy voice that makes you want to suck on a bottle or two... or three... or seven.

Did they ever get around to making that Janis Joplin movie? If that's still in the development stage, I've found your singer. Call Brittany Howard. (She doesn't TOTALLY sound like Janis, but she can get there).

So Alabama Shakes are the kind of band that makes you want to say "Man, ain't life dirty sometimes." Like CCR used to do... or something. But you say "Man, ain't life dirty sometimes," in a laid-back way, like in a way that respects the dirtiness of life. You're not pissed off about it. You're just pissed... because you just drank seven beers.

Maybe that's why Alabama Shakes have gotten so much buzz. A band that can make you ok with life is a band worth keeping around.

Stagnant Pools are two brothers from Bloomington, IN making broody and moody pop that rocks out rather nicely once it gets revved up. Singer/guitarist Brian Enas is 22. And Drummer Doug Enas is 20. Now that you know their names and ages, all we need now is their mother's maiden name and their respective social security numbers and we'll be good to go.

Anyway, Stagnant Pools use a lot of distortion over pretty melodies to make something that sounds a little like a harder edged Interpol perhaps. But I'm not even sure that's right. I guess I just wanted to say that because Interpol was moody. But so were The Moody Blues. Why didn't I say them? Actually, come to think of it... The Moody Blues weren't moody AT ALL. What a fake name.

As you can probably tell by my meandering and changing of topics, it's hard to express the right words to get you to check out Stagnant Pools. But I guarantee if you give them a chance, they'll immediately sound familiar to you... in the good way... familiar like coming home.

So maybe let's leave it at that. Stagnant Pools sound like coming home. (I'm so sorry guys; I failed you on this one... I failed you. But Stagnant Pools are a GOOD band. Honest!)

This sound is going to sound familiar to you. Vancouver, Canada's Cosmetics are a duo (comprised of Nic M and vocalist Aja Emma) that play the same kind of sinister synth noir that Glass Candy and Chromatics and all those "Drive" soundtrack bands rocked a few years ago. It's definitely dark, and heavy on the bass; it's sparse, and it features a whole lot of foreboding synths that sound straight out of 1987 (those same synths came back circa 2002, but we're not keeping score here). Cosmetics are for bad asses in black leather who sit around and brood over broken dreams. Or, they're for music fans who want to go out and hear pretty good songs on a Friday or Saturday night because it sure beats staying in and watching Netflix. One of the two.

You know, Cosmetics would make me feel slightly uneasy if it wasn't so catchy. So I just don't know what to feel anymore. Get the Cosmetics 7” on Captured Tracks (DIVE, Blouse, Heavenly Beat, Wild Nothing etc.) and look for a debut full-length soon.

Hey, you've probably heard this sound before, but so what. You can be fine with hearing it again.

London's Fort Romeau is the lo-fi dance band of Mike Norris, who's in that electro-pop band La Roux. These are house heavy, minimalistic synth grooves with a delicate soulful ambience that gets you on the right path for your epic night (provided you ultimately want your night to end up somewhere sweaty).

This isn't necessarily the kind of dance music that's going to make you want to RAGE at the CLUB while waving NEON and sucking a PACIFIER (isn't that what they do at the clubs?). No, Fort Romeau is more like the pre-party sounds you'll want to blast when you're chilling out and getting mentally ready to RAGE. You know what I'm saying?

Fort Romeau is like the evening's first cocktail. And as everyone knows, the first is most often the best.

If you like Fort Romeau's beats, you should also check out another one of our recent favorites, Keyboard Kid. Be safe out there, kids. And remember to pace yourself... Fort Romeau can help with that.

Horrid Red is a San Francisco (via Germany) band that plays dark (but poppy) synth-kraut-goth. Now it certainly seems that synth-kraut-goth is polarizing amongst the show going peeps that I know (it's like porn; you either like it, or you don't... oh wait, I think I'm getting the saying about porn mixed up), so maybe this won't be your thing.

But it's definitely my thing and it's definitely the thing of Terrible Records (the Grizzly Bear guy who put out stuff for Twin Shadow, Chairlift, CANT etc.); because that's the label that just released Horrid Red's latest album.

Yes, Horrid Red's songs go dark and vaguely creepy (seeing them live, it's like "I want to fully rock out to this but now I'm afraid the venue is haunted so I'm distracted!"), but they're also pretty darn melodic. It's those pretty synths. And one thing that's not polarizing is pretty synth melodies, am I right? What kind of monster doesn't like pretty synth melodies?!?!
br> As an aside: do you know that Brian Kelly song "She is Dancing" from the Basquiat soundtrack? Probably not. But it's a great song. Anyway, Horrid Red's music (not the vocals) reminds me of that song. I just thought you should know. (Sure, I could have gone all Joy Division on you but NO I go all Brian Kelly... that's the Rockness way.)

I like Horrid Red. But if you're not into synth-kraut-goth you may hate them. I'm fine with that. I've got Horrid Red and their ghosts on my side.

Oh no, another? Holy Other is an enigmatic Berlin based (or maybe he's in Manchester now, conflicting reports) producer guy (I don't know his name; it may go down as one of the biggest mysteries of all time - but then again, I only Google searched about two minutes for it) that is doing his part (along with James Blake + The Weeknd + How to Dress Well + Beacon + Active Child + ah, whatever) to keep this down tempo R & B dub-step electronic thing alive and at the very front of the buzz bin.

Like all those other guys, Holy Other also makes slow atmospheric soul jams that like to go all heavy on the bass. These songs don't really "rock out" though. If that's what you want, you're not going to get it here. Nope. Holy Other's songs don't pick up steam so much as slowly let the air out.

In other words, Holy Other's electronica isn't the stuff that will "get this party started." No, this is more like carefully constructed, steady songs by a nameless guy that will keep "this party from turning into a sloppy train wreck." Helpful tip: you might also find that Holy Other's songs are good for doing "the nasty" to. And "the nasty" is always a fun thing to do.

Brooklyn's Life Size Maps are a weird band whose sound goes all over the place. This is not meant to be disparaging. After all, this profile is for a section on the site called "Band We LIKE." No, Life Size Maps are eccentric and befuddling and meandering in the very best way.

Using an array of traditional and non-traditional instruments (a car's metal suspension coil... a Steinway with screws in its strings... or weirdest of all, a cello), this trio manages to create epic and euphoric noise rock that sounds like no other epic, euphoric band that has come before them. And since the history of music spans a few million years (hieroglyphics were simply Cavemen scratching rhythms on the walls, don’t you know), I’d say this is pretty darn impressive.

But if you had to do the band comparison thing, I'd say maybe No Age meets Melt-Banana meets... man, I don't even know. It's hard to describe Life Size Maps. But luckily, they're really easy to like. Go see them play and you'll see for yourself what I mean.

Speaking of shows, Life Size Maps have most recently played with other Rockness favorites like DIVE + The Babies + Alex Bleeker and The Freaks. But that's just most recently. These three play out a lot. And they're getting good because of it... really good.

Thomas Mullarney III and Jacob Gossett are the duo known as Beacon. They're based out of Greenpoint, Brooklyn. As an important aside, if you ever find yourself in Greenpoint you should definitely seek out the empanadas made and sold in that Laundromat. To die for, I tell you.

But moving on, this electronic duo makes down-tempo soulful jams meant for making out, or staring at the moon, or fileting some mignon. There is no wrong activity to accompany down-tempo electronica, after all. It's like the color black; it goes well with everything.

Beacon's sound has been compared to The Weeknd and James Blake and Fever Ray. And I think Mullarney's vocals over this groove-nasty electro seduction often sounds like the Sigur Ros guy meets a little bit of Thom Yorke. That hybrid leads you to a pleasant voice.

All of this probably means only one thing: Beacon is one mellow band, baby. So when you want to go mellow, Beacon isn't a bad place to start for help in getting there. And when you're done getting mellow, grab some of those empanadas from that Laundromat to pump yourself back up. They're a taste explosion in your mouth.

Clams Casino is a clam on a halfshell with breadcrumbs and bacon (thanks Wikipedia!) That sounds delicious, doesn't it? But if you think that's appetizing, just wait 'til you listen to Clams Casino the man. Just you wait, bub.

The man is New Jersey's electronic maestro Mike Volpe (for the record, Com Truise is a New Jersey electronic maestro, too). Volpe got his shot at the big leagues (whatever that means... just wanted to write it) by creating original beats and remixes for hip-hops stars like Soulja Boy and Lil B. But it's his instrumental magic (sans the raps) that makes Clams Casino ALMOST as good as bacon and breadcrumbs.

Think of these slow-ish bass-and-boom heavy jams as sounding a little bit like Gold Panda or Mux Mool or Luke Abbott. And in the synths, I definitely can hear an Aphex Twin influence (then again, what electronic artist hasn't been influenced by Mr. Richard D. James).

So here's what you need to know about Clams Casino in a nutshell... or should I say halfshell (ba-dum-dum-crash): his songs aren't club thumpers. They're not going to make you get all sweaty and propel you to lose your inhibitions and do something you'll most likely regret. Clams Casino's jams are good for... what's the word... oh yeah... chillin'. And no one ever regretted chillin' as far as I know.

Field Mouse is a sweet and dreamy band from Brooklyn started by singer Rachel Browne and Andrew Futral (they're now a band of four, just so you know... your knowledge of how many people are in a band is my only goal, dear Rockness reader).

Field Music is the kind of band that makes me want to lie on top of a pile of warm fluffy towels for a few hours. I'd just lie there, gazing at my bathroom's mildew-y ceiling, and listen to these honeyed songs of indie-pop bliss. Maybe I'd wrap one of the warm towels around my face and smell its freshness as I listen, too. Who's to say? But to me, that sounds like a pretty pleasant way to spend an afternoon... listening to Field Music... smelling warm fluffy towels. (Some say I have too much time on my hands, but I don't see it.)

Oh yeah, if you liked Velocity Girl (if you didn't like Velocity Girl, what kind of monster are you?!?!) there's a great chance you'll like Field Mouse. That reference is perhaps a better sound association for Field Music than a pile of warm fluffy towels. But perhaps not.

Let's do an experiment. I want you to go to IKEA, buy some fluffy towels, go home, wash them, dry them, make sure you throw in some fabric softener (this is very important), fold them, lie on top of them, and listen to Field Music. What will you find? You'll find that Lou Reed was wrong. THIS is your perfect day, dear Rockness reader. This is your perfect day.

"All I want to do is talk, but seeing you fucks me up." That's the chorus to one of Big Deal's songs. I feel like that gives you an idea of what this London duo is all about. But my feelings are often wrong (When I don't "stay true to myself," as they say... FART NOISE).

So let me explain further. Big Deal is Alice Costelloe and KC Underwood (oh, he's American; isn't that fun). Together, they write fuzzy, sparse songs full of relationship-weary pathos. These slow moving, mostly acoustic songs are generally about being fucked up and not being able to think straight and just not wanting to think about the problems of love in general. Sounds like a party to me!

If you're in the middle of a painful break-up with a once-significant other, Big Deal is the kind of band that you can listen to so you can feel a little bit better. Someone else has been there, someone else understands! Then again, Big Deal may just accelerate and propel your downward spiral into self-hating misery and total despair. As I say, sounds like a party to me! (Hey, I made it through this band profile without talking about what big deal these two will be! If you mention it in parentheses, it doesn't count!)

San Francisco's Young Prisms play fuzzed out, spacey psych rock that is all swirly and noisy and hazy and narcotic, man. It's narcotic! So basically exactly what you think a young up-and-coming band from San Francisco would sound like (minus the great garage rock situation SF has got going).

This is a band best listened to with the harsh white lights of the room off and the warm colored lights of your home planetarium on. You should totally listen to this band when you go to Mars, man. You know what I'm saying... yeah, I know you do.

Young Prisms have been compared to bands like (any band that uses noise effectively is compared to Sonic Youth) and My Bloody Valentine (any band that uses swirl effectively is... well, you know). Actually, they sound like a lot of bands. But that's neither here or there now is it?

It's also been said that Young Prisms plays "sun-drenched" music, but I don't agree. Young Prisms are drenched by the night; those clear, moon filled nights when all the stars are out and your mind gets blown by the hugeness of the universe. "Whoa. Is that a shooting star I just saw, man? Man, I totally think that was a shooting star!" Yeah. That's what Young Prisms is all about.

If you don't like Allo Darlin's perfectly catchy pop, there's something seriously wrong with you. Seriously! How can you not like – wait. Stop. Let's wait a minute here. Let's not do that. Let's take a step back. Why should you allow someone you don't even know to say you have faults because you don't like a band? That's ridiculous! Of course it's fine for you not to like Allo Darlin's music.

But to that point, what the HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?! How can you not like Allo Darlin? Are you some kind of monster?! This is like the poppiest of pop music that's ever been created in the history of pop music. This foursome makes The Beach Boys sound like Black Dice. Allo Darlin' makes The Beatles sound like Merzbow.

Fronted by Elizabeth Morris, it's almost as if she's DARING you NOT to get in a better mood and rededicate your life to happiness. So you go see Allo Darlin' and prepare to turn that frown upside down, sir! Let those eyes shine again, Madame! For everything will be ok. Allo Darlin's music is happy songs for happy people.

Oh, and did I mention Elizabeth Morris also plays a ukulele!?! GOODBYE PAIN AND TEARS FOREVER. (Of course, Morris could be singing about the depravity of humanity for all I know... the loudness of my inner joy was drowning out the lyrical content.)

Canada's Grimes is actually Montreal's Claire Boucher. I guess you can call this ethereal atmospheric electronic music, but then you'd probably want to walk away from this profile at best and... well... let's not get into worst case scenarios here.

You and I both know that what I just said to describe Grimes' music means absolutely nothing. After all, Enya (and whatever Enya’s sister or cousin or whoever that relative was who was riding Enya’s coattails for a while there circa 1994) could also be described as ethereal atmospheric electronic music. And Grimes doesn't sound like Enya. You heard that here first. "Ethereal" music like this is hard to describe. That's why people say things are "ethereal." No one questions "ethereal."

Let's start over and try to do a better job of describing Grimes. How about this, "Grimes sounds like a pop triumph!" Oops, that's another thing that doesn't mean anything. How about, "Whatever Grimes is; chillwave and Dub Step this is not." Closer. How about, "Don't walk! I command you to RUN and see Grimes play!" Farther. Ok, final try. "Grimes is good music made with good machines and sung by a good singer who has a good voice." BOOM! (Grimes also sounds like whales jumping out of the sea in slow motion.)

Minneapolis' Howler is the once side-project now main-project of Jordan Gatesmith. He is (was?) in that band Total Babe. He's also 19. He was also named by NME as one of the "50 coolest people of 2011." Oh, brother. Anyway... the more you know, the more you grow.

Howler plays that lo-fi surf garage thing that's been popular these days. But it's not really THAT lo-fi because these super catchy songs definitely have some polish. That's not to say lo-fi doesn't have much polish; it's just that lo-fi doesn't seem to have much polish. And that's something I DON'T back down from, unless I take the time to think about it some more.

When I first heard Howler I thought they sounded like Surf City. Other comparisons range from The Vaccines (Howler's upcoming tour mates) to The Strokes (haha) to any of those other bands that sound abrasively sunny but like... kind of doo-wop, too. You know what I'm saying? Good, because I don't.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to devise ways of getting on NME's "coolest people of 2012" list. I'm thinking it's going to start with "torn clothes held together with safety pins," but "don't quote me on that."

Young Dreams are a young band from Bergen, Norway (that dreams). This is ethereally tender dream-pop. And that's another way of saying that this sounds like Animal Collective, which used to be another way of saying Brian Wilson. Oh, the genres they go round and round.

Now I don't know for SURE for sure because I haven't yet seen them play, but I'm fairly certain there are one thousand members in this band. Now that's what I call a collective! Ok, maybe not a thousand (people keep telling me a million times to stop exaggerating so much) but there are definitely a LOT. And when you have that many people playing instruments (Is a glockenspiel involved? Of COURSE a glockenspiel is involved!) your music can definitely go to dreamy, other-worldly territories.

You'll like Young Dreams if you like precious-enough pop. You might also like Young Dreams if you like Animal Collective and Brian Wilson. You will definitely not like Young Dreams if you like to get drunk and throw your fist through a stranger's face. Young Dreams are for lovers, not fighters. C'mon, a glockenspiel never hurt anybody.

Mux Mool is the performing name of Brooklyn's electronic phenomenon Brian Lindgren. He recently signed to Ghostly International and that's the perfect record label for this guy's melodic instrumental beat-synth slightly hip-hop thing. Check out his label mates Com Truise + Gold Panda + Tycho for a sound comparison starting point and you'll hear what we mean. Also, he's not on Ghostly but if you've heard and liked Luke Abbott you'll also probably like Mux Mool.

As you probably can tell if you've read these profiles on Rockness over the last year or so, I've been REALLY into electronic music and just when I think it has run its course for me, another guy like Mux Mool comes along to show me there's still a lot of creativity left in the genre to keep me coming back for more.

But really it's best just to listen to this guy's jams then to spend a ton more time describing what's going on here. Because to be honest, I don't know. I'm not a gear head. I just know it rules. I don't know how to make cotton candy either, but that doesn't stop me from eating it. Sometimes it's best for the magic to wash over you without getting too much into the minutiae. Know what I'm sayin’?