((The Pizza Underground)) Band Profile and Upcoming New York City Concerts - Oh My Rockness

The Pizza Underground

Written by Patrick McNamara

Wait wait wait wait, tho. Wait. Now, listen. I have considered your opinion carefully. But here is MY perspective on the matter, man. How’s a Moms just gonna let her kid fall off a cliff like that? Just drop him like he's some other kid's nasty ass dirty diaper. She was supposed to be his Moms. And no, man, I don’t care if he was the “bad” one. I put a dead mouse in my sister’s Easter basket when I was 7 and told her bunny just brought some new candy. Did Moms throw me off a mountain when she found out? Hell, no. She just - well - we don't need to get into it. But do you want to know why my Moms didn't let me fall of a cliff like that? Because she was my Moms. That’s what I’m saying, tho. To kill Mac like that is WACK.

Anyway, what else is going on? Hey. That reminds me. Do you like pizza? I definitely do. But I’m weird like that. Some even call me alt. I just think pizza is delicious. That tomato sauce and cheese, tho. Do you want the tang or do you want the cream? Both. Bring it. When someone hands me a slice of pizza I just think, "can I have some more? - a LOT more?" Of course, the crust is often the best part. Is it going to taste like dough? Is it going to taste like toast? You’re never going to know until you bite down and peel back the layers upon layers upon layers and on and on it goes. But this you can count on as you're digging in. Pizza is going to be delicious. Any way you slice it.

Also. Remember the other day when we were talking about the Velvet Underground and how cool they were? Man. That band was so cool. That Lou Red, tho. Little known fact. Andy Warhol designed that banana. I shit you not. Anyway. I forget why I brought that up just now. Oh well. I'm sure it will come back.

In summation. Macaulay Culkin and four friends (Matt Colbourn + Phoebe Kreutz + Deenah Vollmer + Austin Kilham) are in a band that does Velvet Underground songs but they switch the lyrics to be about pizza and it's all in good fun.

Those kazoos, tho.

Published September 23, 2014
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