There is no doubt that the Oh My Rockness crew is a nostalgic bunch. We reminisce a lot as we row our oars down the mighty river Thames. We're so wistful we're already pining for that time when we wrote, "The crew at Oh My Rockness is a nostalgic bunch." Ah, those were the days. It's no wonder then that we love year-end lists as it gives us an excuse to revel even more in our remembrance. We love reading lists, compiling lists, and debating lists. And we now bring you the official Oh My Rockness "Best of 2006" list. Best of what, you may ask? Best live show? Best album? Best new band? Nah, that stuff is boring. I mean, do you really need another list lauding Joanna Newsom and TV on the Radio? It's like we get it, they're good. Our list digs deeper. As our hero Don Henley says, we're "trying to get down to the heart of the matter." So without further ado:
Oh My Rockness' Best of 2006
Best Rock Band Full of a Bunch of Married People - The Big Sleep
It was a very tough call, but this hard-hitting trio narrowly edges The Captain & Tenille for this prestigious honor. Love doesn't hurt, it slays!
Best Use of Distortion Pedal - - Goes Cube
Sometimes we wish we had a distortion pedal for life. Like when our landlord yells at us for not rinsing our beer bottles thoroughly enough. Instead of getting mad at the guy, we could just do a Goes Cube stomp on the floor and our apartment would suddenly be flooded with fuzzy angst. That would show him, alright.
Best Use of Props Onstage - - Apes and Androids
Is there a band more creative than these men? Already this year they've incorporated the use of puppets, a fire-breathing monster, glowing balls, 3-D glasses, and (the ultimate) a big ship. Somewhere Freddie Mercury is smiling (which is significant considering he is 6-feet Under Pressure).
Best Band To Tear Down A Cheesy Canopy - - Detachment Kit
Seriously, if a rock venue (which will go unnamed) actually has a canopy above the stage, how could you expect it NOT to be ripped down, especially when you invite these spazztastic superstars to play?
Best Lucifer Licker - - Professor Murder
Their steamy summer show at Cake Shop was so hot, we saw Satan himself begging James Murphy to borrow his Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine. Way to put the Devil in his place, boys! Thankfully, those in the crowd whose biological make-up wasn't 100% sin were cooled off by the cowbells. Thanks for the Free Sweat Test, Professor Murder.
Best Band Born After Corey Haim's Career Went Kaput - - Tokyo Police Club
These Canadian youngsters are barely old enough to drive, let alone been born in time to see the release of "Licensed to Drive." Unfortunately this means that their sound isn't influenced one bit by the brilliance of Billy Ocean's soundtrack. "Get out of my dreams, get into my car." See, that's what we're talking about when we talk about nostalgia. It doesn't get any better than that.
Best Band That Everyone Forgets This Time Of Year Because Their Album Came Out In Like January - - Band of Horses
Think of them as the musical equivalent of Vin Diesel's wonderfully overlooked gem, "The Pacifier." If that movie came out in November or December, instead of February of last year, you just know it would have swept the major awards at the 2006 Oscars. But no, out of sight out of mind. Band of Horses is like that, only their music isn't about a highly-trained officer who meets his toughest challenge yet when he has to baby-sit.
Best Band We Missed At SXSW Because We Were On The Roof Eating Free Burritos - - We Are Wolves
Everyone we talked to said they were awesome, but we were like, "but more awesome than this here sour cream????" We didn't get a satisfactory answer to convince us to go down and check them out, so we stayed up top. Big big mistake. Everyone came back and raved, while we were left wondering where the button from our pants went off to.
Best Band To Use "S" Alliteration With When Describing -- Serena Maneesh
Serena Maneesh sing swirling shoegaze songs with stunning psychic sonic swells.
Sy Sloody Salentine's Shields surely shall love this!
Best Band to Make Your Nipples As Hard As Quarters -- Pelican
What? Is that weird?
Happy Holidays!
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